A few weeks back I mentioned that the body follows the head and, so long as you keep your head in the game then things will flow, but if you’re head’s not in it then it’s going to be a struggle and not likely a pleasant one. Well, last week the best way to put it is that my head and heart just weren’t in it. I really didn’t track anything, and while I made some effort to have good food available to snack on as I usually do, and I did indeed snack on it, I also ate other stuff too in addition to that.
I did not make it to the WW meeting again this weekend; I actually slept in even later than I did the past week, and didn’t actually get out of bed until after the meeting had started. Next week I’ll set the alarm for my own accountability if nothing else… 
My scale of wild inaccuracies is trending up again, though, so I expect some bad news this weekend; even if I were to run a 5k every night this week and strictly walk the line on the program, which I don’t see happening, there’s a lot of lost ground to make up.
I suspect this is going to be a rough stretch for me, to be honest. That’s no excuse for jumping off the wagon and waving goodbye to it with a funnel cake in hand, I know, but the road gets really bumpy and it’s easy to bump out of it this time of year. Why do I say that? Take a moment and look back at my family tragedy history lesson from back in May for more of a background, but those anniversaries are starting to line up. October 1st will mark the 8th anniversary of Sullivan’s passing… November 7th would have been his 10th birthday… December 14th is the anniversary of his original near-miss SIDS incident… and then there’s all the mixed feelings of the holidays after having spent one at the Ronald McDonald House and knowing there’ll never be a Christmas with all three of my kids together (the youngest having been born after the middle child passed). Christmas is better than it used to be in many ways, but it’s still a bit of a marathon to get there from here.
I suspect there are some other things going on that I’m not even sure exactly what they are (although some I do and even talked about in last week’s update)… but I find myself falling back into my emotional eating habits really easily. I do still have control of some of the issues I used to have, but others, well, not so much. I still have that appointment with my doc later this week, here’s hoping he’ll have some advice.
I started this blog originally to try and hold myself accountable. I have to say, I far prefer to write the updates where I can say I lost a few pounds than ones like these, but if there’s anything that’s kept me from just saying “Screw it” and embracing the comfort food it’s been this blog. I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets ugly before it gets prettier… but I’m not giving up yet. Still hitting the gym, still making most of my eating choices good ones… *sigh*
No one ever said this was going to be easy. Except maybe me, saying that it WAS easy in stretches… and it has been in stretches. Time to brace for a rougher one I suppose.
I need you to read "Breaking Free From Emotional Eating" and maybe "Feeding the Hungry Heart." Maybe some good counselling would do you some good, but whatever you do DO NOT QUIT! Get your head back into the game, dude! WE NEED YOU.
Hey, I never said I was quitting. Well, I've debated quitting Weight Watcher's lately, as if I'm not figuring out my points then I'm not really doing program anyway and it's not like it's free. I've also debated "quitting" the updates on this blog such as they are, in particular after that TED video you had on yours. It rings so true… I did so well at first, got a lot of accolades and then started sitting back and basking in my glory… when there's not really all that much glorious about a 350lb me, 'cept that it's a healthier me than a 390lb me. I dunno. Still debating that. I'm not giving up on myself in the long run, though, just struggling through other issues as I chug along. We'll see where it goes.
I cannot imagine how difficult the dates can be. You and your missus have been through so much, but you remain strong in each other. I'll be thinking of you and keeping up with you.
My boss follows the Mayo Clinic program. As she explains it, it recommends you change one bad habit a week and try to adopt a new one on a weekly. Stuff like, eat more veggies, walk XX minutes/miles, don't eat the donut
Rather than trying to get to specific weight goals/focusing on weight loss, perhaps it's time to take a break to focus on a healthier and fitter you? Decrease the stress during this time?
If I recall correctly, you've lost 10% of your weight. You could try to maintain that loss, following the healthy habits you've adopted, and, in a few months when you're emotionally in a space to move forward again, you can start to "diet" and consciously work towards losing.
I've lost almost 10%… or at least I was within two pounds of it, but again I've gained a few more back. But I hit that point in July, actually, and it HAS been a few months and my emotional space seems to be declining, or at least going through rougher patches. Still, your overall point of just holding steady when I'm not up to losing is a valid one… but it's the days that I have loud voices in my head screaming "@$^# it all" and I turn to what I consider self destructive eating, or reaching for foods not because they really appeal but precisely because they're bad for me… yeah, those are the weeks I don't do so good. Mind you, I'd been allowing myself to be in a holding pattern when still reaching out like that, so if I go to actually trying to be really good on my good days than my bad days may just be more of a balance vs. a trend in a bad period… we'll see. I'm still learning myself and what to do with myself as I go along, and I still have the long term goal, but… eh… may be time for a different chapter in my history lessons.
Most of the foods that I can't resist (yet) like chips and pop are still "banned" from my house. I don't buy them, I don't bring them into the house. So, when I'm in a mood to eat something really bad, the worst I can do is overeat on things like skinny cow ice cream (which I don't keep a big container of), popcorn, fruit, granola bars, etc. I know there's the potential for me to blow my calorie count out of the water this way, but over all it makes eating poorly less of a negative for me.
Of course, I don't have a lot of your challenges – work lunches, birthdays, etc. I'm very insulated in my own little diet world at the moment. Probably for the best.
I have challenges… but I have some ways to cope. I had a co-worker today walk into my office with a donut in her hand specifically to give me a hard time about it and how good it was, knowing that I'm trying to watch what I eat. I turned the tables when I pulled some fresh grapes out of my lunch cooler and started eating them… you could tell by the look on her face even she realized it was a better option than the donut she was eating. 'Course, I did break down and have some donuts later but that was more for the psycho morning effect than anything else…. :/ On the flip side, I let my son finish some of my dinner for me tonight at the restaurant and we took another chunk of it home, but more about that little success at the weekly update.
Also worth replying, there are foods that we don't stock here either. I can't deal with an open bag of chips. So long as their sealed I'm OK — we get large packs of the snack sized chips for the kids so they can have 'em, but if there's a large bag open it won't last long. There are other foods I like to call "red light foods" that I have to be a really careful around, but it is amazing how much easier it is to just not bring them in the house. (I've also not done this lately, but I have in the past been known to hit a drive thru before I shop just so I'm not walking around really hungry and grabbing all the red light foods while I'm shopping….)
** OK, Sidebar ** I HATE that your comments feature limits how long I can burble for. You know me. I do nothing but burble!
** Here's hoping I chose the correct place to cut this comment…**
Maintaining isn't quitting or giving up. And it's hard. Many nutritionists recommend you take a few months off of active weight loss when you hit a 10-15% body weight goal so that your body has a chance to readjust to the new you. Think of it as the "slow, sure way" to win the race.
Basically you'd keep doing what you're doing (I'd hope), without the added pressure of trying to see the numbers go down on the scale each week. You'd be a healthier and fitter you in the end.
It is a good way to win the race… unless, after the few months off you then start gaining again. 'cuz that sucks.
And would you recommend a different comments feature? I went with Intense Debates trying to foster more discussion, but between the spam catching issues lately and the short lengths for comments, eh. If I continue with the blog as such I'm happy to consider changing what I use… let me know what you might recommend and I'd be happy to check it out. Of course, it'd rock if it worked with WordPress.
I may have been writing a blog since 2003, but I know squat when it comes to comments features. I just use the one installed on my WP (I self host my blog, which I suspect you do as well). No threaded comment option, but also – as far as I can see based on my random comments – no comment limit.
I just need to remind muself that yours has a limit and to copy my comment before I try to submit so I can continue the babbling that you know and love so well ;P
Also, just cause I'm in a *yay me* mood. I tried on the sweater I wore in my visit to your apt in Toledo back in 95 (or was it 94) and it fits just like it did back then! *w00t*